A Song To Die To
It was going to be a long trip — seven hours on Nigerian roads. So it was no surprise that I started thinking about the way I would like to die. I think about death a lot — well, my death to be specific. I often think of the moment before I die, and how people would react to it. it’s just one of those fun activities I engage in during my pastime — thinking of my death, that is.
I have no plans to die anytime soon, but I don’t think death has any considerations for my plans. People die. And it happens randomly at times, and other times — well, all I can say is that when you travel on secluded roads that are infamous for kidnappings and cars getting crushed by trucks steered by insomniac agents of satan, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you died. It would be fine having these thoughts if I had been alone in the vehicle, but there were two other people in the car, and I was slightly fond of one those people, so it would have been a bit tragic if something bad were to happen. So I said a little prayer, and hoped that we got to our destination, safely.
We began our journey very early in the morning, just before sunrise. At an hour into the journey, I began playing music through my earpiece, because I intended to fall asleep with music, and maybe die in my sleep while I’m at it. We were driving along a road that had vast fields, with hills, and few trees sprinkled across it. It was quite the view. Then California Dreamin’ began playing in my ears, and I began thinking about how it was a very nice travel song, and how it meshed well with the view. I no longer felt like sleeping.
California Dreamin’ was a nice travel song, but wasn’t particularly the best dying song. I had thought about songs I would like to die to, many times before. I had even thought of making a playlist of music I would like to die to, but I didn’t want to jinx it, because I’m still a bit interested in being alive. But if I were to die to music, I imagined it would be to something more melancholy or ominous, symbolising my dissatisfaction with the swiftness of death and the overall uncertainty of what the afterlife holds. I would like to die to something that expresses, on my behalf, my desire to keep on living, and hopefully conclude the many tv shows I’ve been holding off on, and also the many films I haven’t gotten to watching yet.
It should depict my unwillingness to die, and how my intentions for living are hardly a factor in the determination of how long I would be alive for. It should guide me through the process of abruptly leaving behind people who genuinely cared about me, people who had fallen in love with me, or could have fallen in love with me, if only I lived a little bit longer.
But then again, I would like my last moments to be contexualised by a song that represents the absurdity of it all. A crazy song. A sweet Jazz song. It should be a song that says “fuck it all, I never had a chance anyways.” Because that’s just life — we can’t choose the life we are born into, and we especially can’t choose when or how we die, and then we are given the illusion of control over everything in-between. We can only ride out the absurdity of it all with a drink in hand, as we dance to the tune of our lives. (warning: quality of drink may depend on the kind of life you are born into).
Dying to a peaceful song is also a good option, I think. It should be a song that represents my general satisfaction with how I had lived my life, and wards off looming regrets of what could have been — a song that takes me by the hand and says “it’s okay. it’s fine. you did your best, now you just have to let go.”
I would typically like to be accepting of my death, and wouldn’t want to behave in an unbecoming manner in the presence of Mr. Grim Reaper. I would like to die to a song that shows me that the “when” or “how” doesn’t matter, when it comes to having a peaceful death. Everyone gets a shot at it. I want a song that gently serenades me to the afterlife.
Well, as I write this, I can already think of some very appropriate choice of music for the genres of death I have listed out. But I won’t share them, just so that I don’t mistakenly influence your choices. Fortunately for all the stakeholders in our journey that day, we all got to our destination safely. So if you know me personally, and see me out and about with an earpiece in my ears, don’t press me about it, I’m only just playing a set of songs that I may die to.
